Hello world.
At The Camp, we like reviewing things. We’ll be reviewing TV shows, movies, sports games, press conference performances, restaurants, and more – pretty much anything you can slap a score on.
As a result, we’re introducing our rating system here. Numerically, we’ll still score things out of 10, or out of 100, or using five stars. It really just depends on what we’re feeling that day.
But what really matters is this: The Camp Official Fire Status Review Score. Long name, huh? The scoring will be based on the stages of a campfire (we are The Camp, after all):
Piss On It
This is the bottom of the barrel. This fire is dead, and the only option is to urinate on it and try and have a little fun with what’s left of it.
If we review something at this fire status, shoot it into the Sun. End it. Put it out of its misery.
For example, the recent national championship game between Georgia and TCU (65-7) would get a “Piss On It” rating. Really, really bad, and there’s no coming back.
Sparks
There’s a semblance of what might turn into a fire here but nothing more. Still pretty bad. At this point, it needs a little more fuel to get going. Some kerosene or gasoline, perhaps.
If something gets reviewed at this status, it’s barely worth saving. There’s definitely something there, but not enough to really be notable. Plus, sparks tend to die out pretty quickly.
Think of the Star Wars prequels as a great example here.
Embers
Okay, this might turn into something now. We’re a bit more serious than sparks, but it could still die out and turn into nothing. Pretty average, if you ask me.
An embers-rated item is verging on goodness but isn’t quite there. Mediocre, by definition:
“Of only moderate quality; not very good.”
While I disagree, most people would probably have no issue putting the Game of Thrones ending in this status.
Fire
We’ve got flames people. It isn’t massive, it isn’t crazy, but it’s a workable fire. Usable for cooking, burning, and whatever else you need a quality fire for.
This status is solidly good. Not fantastic but definitely not bad either. Anything at this status is probably worth at least paying attention to.
The 2021/22 Phoenix Suns fit perfectly in this category as an example. Great regular season but lost in the playoffs. Still a good year overall.
Inferno
Call the fire department. This blaze is dangerous.
This is the gold standard of ratings, and something has to be great to get this status. It isn’t lightly given either.
Think Jimi Hendrix in “Voodoo Child.” Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. Georgia in that national championship.
This is the cream of the crop. The very best. If we rate something in this status, you have our guarantee that it is amazing and nearly perfect.
We will do our best to accompany the system with numbers or something else to help quantify things, but this is the definitive ratings system used by The Camp. Love it or hate it, we don’t care.