Song of the Day: Serotonin Moonbeams-The Blessed Madonna
Every so often, I feel intense emotion about genres of music. It could be love, hate, confusion, and even disgust. A lot of the time, I have wanted to share my intense feelings about music, but never really had an avenue to rant other than to one of my unfortunate friends. Now, I can type something up and post it on The Camp for no one to read, but it works.
I will do this on occasion; this will not be a consistent blog. As for structure, I am going to write about five different genres, each under a different category. Also, I will add a single category that is about the type of story the song is about – love, heartbreak, beer, etc. Finally, I will close with a rant about a single artist that I have a hot take about. Additionally, I will include two or three songs and/or bands per category to represent the music I am talking about. The first category is a genre of music that fucking fires me up.
Fire Me Up:
Disco House
Oh my god I love Disco House. It has become very popular these days; I find myself constantly aroused by the Disco beats and Shazaming when I traverse bars. There’s something about sampling classic disco tunes and even soul music, speeding it up, and throwing some boots and cats on top of it that really gets me going.
Examples:
- Afraid To Feel- LF System
- Baby Girl: George IV’s UK Sunshine Flip– Disco Lines, George IV
- Coma Cat: Purple Disco Machine Re-Work- Tensnake, Purple Disco Machine
Plays Heavy:
UK Drill
UK Drill is a genre of music that just scratches a part of my brain I did not know needed scratching. First of all, British accents are just funny; and when they are rapping about hard shit like murder and selling drugs, it is very difficult to take seriously. Especially when slang is thrown around. To understand what I mean, read this lyric:
“The mandem celebrate Eid
The trap stilll runnin’ on Christmas day”
Actually makes no sense.
Also, the beats just go so hard; it’s impossible not to want to run through a brick wall.
Examples:
- Wiley Flow– Stormzy
- Doja- Central Cee
- Mr Worldwide– Pete & Bas
50/50:
Future Bass
Future Bass may be the most popular sub genre of EDM. I used to be a big fan, and this genre would jump in between the top two categories for me constantly. Now, it is a big 50/50 on whether I like a song/artist or not. As an example, Illenium is one of the most popular Future Bass artists performing currently.
My problem with Illenium and Future Bass in general is how repetitive it is. One can only do drop build ups into long drawn out synths so many times, and I think it is hitting its peak. To give it credit, and why I put it in the 50/50 category, the vocals are usually superb.
Also, Future Bass artists: Stop capitalizing all the letters in your name. It’s stupid and sucks to type.
Examples:
- Nightlight– ILLENIUM, Annika Wells
- Say My Name– ODESZA, Zyra
- Light– San Holo
I Don’t Like It, But I Get Why People Do:
R&B
I am gonna piss people off about this category, but it needs to be said. If you primarily listen to R&B, you are a slut. Nothing wrong with being a slut, but my God, go touch some grass or something and stop being so horny. Is there any R&B song not about sex or love? Like, can Usher produce an R&B song about the pleasures of a 75 degree day in August, and not about bad bitches in the club or how he dicks down his side piece?
And while I’m at it, women who love the Weeknd: Yes his music is fantastic, but Abel would definitely be a horrible significant other. You think a fat, depressed guy would be a good boyfriend? He’s just like me other than the fact that I’m white, not even close to as wealthy, and can’t sing.
Wait, maybe I get it now.
Examples:
- Shirt- SZA
- Midnight Train to Georgia- Gladys Knight
- All Night- Beyonce
How the Fuck Do People Listen to This Shit:
Christian Music
I actually cannot wrap my head around how people listen to Christian Music, or the fact that it’s profitable enough to have multiple radio stations and so many bands. At its core, Christian music is just shitty alt rock. The lyrics are horrendous too; is it too much to ask for some creativity? This is not even an attack on Christianity; at least hymns sound beautiful and have poetic lyrics. Christian music comes off to me as if some Australian man is searching for a deceptive way to fund his coke habit (cough, cough, Hillsong, cough).
Anyway, I am going to provide some examples of songs that are Christian in nature but aren’t classified as Christian Music so some of you white bread motherfuckers can get some taste.
Examples:
- Jesus, Take the Wheel– Carrie Underwood (did I really have to put this one here?)
- Awake My Soul- Mumford and Sons
- With Arms Wide Open- Creed
Songs About:
Cheating
There really is not a more detestable act that is not criminal. Think about it. While you can get into civil trouble for unfaithfulness in some circumstances, cheating is an immoral act that will not land you in prison or get fined.
For some reason, when people make songs about cheating, or being cheated on, those songs are always absolute bangers. I don’t understand why they always hit, but they do. Maybe it is an innate human reaction to be attracted to the taboo; maybe it’s because we’re all fucked up, or maybe it’s just that those songs simply rock.
Examples:
- Lips Of An Angel– Hinder
- Cry Me A River- Justin Timberlake
- I Kissed A Girl- Katy Perry
- Careless Whisper- George Michael
Artist Rant:
Flume
There really is not a lot for me to say about Flume other than he is the DJ equivalent of a rabbit’s foot. Honestly, he probably is not a very good artist, but he is a very lucky one. If you have ever listened to a lot of Flume, or gone to one of his shows, you might have noticed that it is somewhere between 75-85% absolute abstract dogshit. However, the remaining percentage of his music is of the highest quality – just absolute bangers.
He is essentially the music version of Pablo Picasso, who would have faded into obscurity if not for works of art such as The Old Guitarist and Guernica. If you are an art history person and decide to comment about how I’m not technically correct, then don’t, because I was just making a point and I won’t listen to you.
Anyway, Flume. 85% abstract bullshit. 15% world changing music. That 15% might make him one of the best in the world.
Examples:
- You & Me- Flume Remix
- Never Be Like You
- Insane
- Tennis Court (Flume Remix)
- ABSTRACT BULLSHIT BELOW
- Quirk
- Wall Fuck
- Ecdysis