Kyle’s Weekly Travel Guide

This week, I will be talking about a city that has the same population of Buckeye, Arizona, yet is the capital of a European country. Located on a frozen rock near the Arctic Circle, this city has a warm vibrance and culture that is surprising and welcoming. Shockingly, this city has a strong nightlife, and the food here can compete with the best countries in Europe. For the second edition of Kyle’s Weekly Travel Guide, I will be walking you through the capital of the Land of Ice and Fire:

Reykjavik, Iceland

Things to Do

For this edition of Kyle’s Weekly Travel Guide, I will be providing things to do for the entirety of the country of Iceland, as the things to do in Reykjavik can be done in an afternoon. I would recommend getting a rental car while in the country, and I will talk specifics in the “Getting Around” section of this travel guide. 

Like the previous blog, there are many historic museums and the like in Reykjavik, but I will talk about some key things that you better not miss. 

Hallgrímskirkja

First off is Hallgrímskirkja, and don’t even ask me how to pronounce that. I won’t even try. This church is the first thing that you see driving in from Keflavik Airport into the city. It is absolutely worth paying to go to the top of the Bell Tower, where you get a panoramic view of the city, the North Atlantic Ocean, and the mountains inland. Pretty sure it was like 10 Icelandic Krona, but get used to high prices because Iceland is absurdly expensive (like $15 for a damn beer expensive).  

Blue Lagoon

Most native Icelanders will tell you not to come to this place. Ignore them. Yes, it is a tourist trap by my God it is worth it. The place is essentially a spa, and the geothermal heated water feels so good. The sulfur does smell like shit, but it’s good for you so suck it up. The pool has a swim up bar that sells alcohol and face masks so it was definitely a new concept to me when I went there. The restaurant at the Lagoon is also quality so I highly recommend making reservations. 

The Icelandic Phallological Museum

The last thing that you really need to see in Reykjavik is the Icelandic Phallological Museum. It is exactly what it sounds like; it’s a dick museum. In there, you will find detailed descriptions of the penis of every animal imaginable, and many of them are accompanied by the penis of said animal in a jar. Save the dick jokes; Will “Beans” Everett (fellow writer of The Camp) and I already made every joke in the penis book while visiting this museum. Have fun and get some souvenirs. 

Ring Road

One mistake that I made when going to Iceland was staying in Reykjavik the whole time and making day trips to the countryside. Do not do that. Take the car that you rented and stay for cheap along the Ring Road, Iceland’s circular highway that will take you through the whole country.

The rest of this section will include some of the natural beauty that you could experience on your travels along the ring road; however, I will save some of them for you to discover on your own. 

The Road to Vik

When leaving Reykjavik, take the Ring Road south to Vik. Along the way you will find several waterfalls that are absolutely stunning. The first, Seljalandsfoss, is hard to miss, as you can see it from the highway. The next, Skógafoss, is massive, and has a hiking trail that follows the river up into the mountains. Finally, the last must see on the road to Vik is Reynisfjara Black Sand Beach. This beach is absolutely gorgeous; but beware, the current even on the shore is deadly, and has killed so many Chinese tourists that the locals call the current “Chinese Takeout.”

Snæfellnes Peninsula

After you have taken the Ring Road around the island, make sure to drive around the Snæfellsnes Peninsula (yet another blender of a word). This peninsula has hiking trails, gorges, mountains, waterfalls, and a large glacier at the end that is absolutely stunning. Take the time to hit as many spots as possible. I am certain you will fall in love with the place.

Golden Circle

If you are not staying in Iceland very long, but want to see some natural beauty close to Reykjavik, follow the Golden Circle, a smaller ring highway that has plenty to offer. Both Selfoss and Gullfoss waterfalls are located on the circle, as well as Thingvellir National Park and Geysir Geothermal Area.

One little known place located in the town of Hveragerði is a geothermal hot spring that only locals know about. The trailhead is located behind the Frost & Fire Boutique Hotel. Be careful: The hike to the springs is longer than expected. At least, I did not expect it as the bartender at our hostel said the walk was short and easy (he left out the part that it is two hours round trip through the fucking mountains). 

Extras

This section is for things we heard were cool but did not have the time to go. 

• Husavik
• West Fjords
• Egilsstaðir

Additionally, there are loads of tours for whale watching, riding snowmobiles, hiking glaciers, and so many more activities. Also, make sure to see some fucking puffins. They are so damn cute.

Restaurants

Now we are back in Reykjavik where I can now provide a couple of places to try the local cuisine. Most of what you are going to experience in terms of cuisine in Iceland comes from the sea. They like lamb, too. However, the national dish of Iceland is not a fish, crustacean, or lamb; it is the hot dog.  

Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur

The national dish of Iceland is the hot dog. Bizarre right? Well, after you try the hot dogs from this iconic hot dog stand in Reykjavik, you will understand why it is the national dish. The workers at this stand crank out dogs at a 10-second-per-dog clip, and these heroes create the traditional Icelandic hot dog by grabbing the bun, layering crispy onions, throwing on the sausage, and covering it in ketchup, mustard, and a signature remoulade. 

Messinn

We went to Messinn as part of a food tour during my stay in Reykjavik, and it was one of the highlights. These motherfuckers know how to cook fish. This restaurant is known for their fish platters. They throw a few cuts of salmon, halibut, etc., on a platter and surround the fish with locally sourced veggies. Delicious. 

Íslenski Barinn

Íslenski Barinn (Iceland Bar) is basically an Icelandic Pub full of Icelandic bar food and Icelandic drinks. While there, we had a delicious lamb stew, dried fish, and fermented shark. We knew about the fermented shark going in, and honestly it is not that bad. In Iceland, it is traditional to chase fermented shark with a shot of Brennivin, known as black death, a classic Icelandic liquor.

Here are Beans and I attacking the Brennivin-Shark taste challenge:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQgkEs4DU3k/

Cafe Loki

Cafe Loki had to be included because this place showcases how fucking obsessed Icelanders are with rye bread. I get it because the stuff is damn good. In Cafe Loki, they use rye bread with everything: Salmon topped rye bread, rye bread pudding, and rye bread ice cream are just a few of the dishes we tried while at Cafe Loki.

 The process to bake this rye bread is also fascinating. Bakers use the geothermal heat to bake the rye bread; they actually just stick the batter in a pot in the ground for 24 hours, then boom, Rye Bread. 

Nightlife

I did not know this going in, but oh my god Reykjavik is a party city. Icelanders think that ending a night before 7am is for losers. It does make sense; during the summer it is always light outside so why sleep? During the winter, the sun is never out so you never have an excuse to stop partying. 

Also, since the country only has a population of 300k, they have an app to check if they are related to a person they take home from the bar. If the person is a 4th cousin or further removed, then they have the green light to plow. Surprisingly, the demand for this app was high, as most people I met in Iceland knew someone who accidentally frigged their cousin. 

Anyway, here are my favorite bars in Iceland ( I didn’t go to the last two). 

Loft – HI Hostel & Bar

Loft was a rooftop bar located at the hostel that I stayed at in Reykjavik. While the beer was expensive, the vibes were priceless. The bar was constantly full of locals, so it was easy to meet different people and have exciting nights. Very simple bar; I would recommend starting your night here.

Den Danske Kro ( Danska Kráin )

This bar was fun because of the live music. The guy playing took requests and knew everyone in the bar. Very friendly atmosphere, and they have a shot wheel.

I am an absolute slut for shot wheels. 

The Irishman Pub

Very similar to the previous bar, the Irishman Pub has live music, and Icelanders love to join into the singalong. This bar had reasonably priced drinks (I love the Irish), and a fun vibe. However, our group was heinously sexually harassed by a very drunk Icelander; I think he meant well when he grabbed my ass.

Kíkí Queer Bar

This bar is my white whale. They never let us in. I have never been turned away at a bar because they just did not like my vibe. If you can make it in, I have heard that Kíkí Queer Bar is a ton of fun. If you are successful, please tell me all about your experience. 

Solon Bistro & Bar

I included this bar because it was always busy when we walked by it, and at closing time, three cop cars and a police van pulled into the intersection next to the bar and waited until fights broke out to settle them down. The fights did indeed break out, maybe 25 seconds after closing time, and the cops that broke up the fight were absolutely stunning. 

Safety and Don’ts

Iceland is extraordinarily safe crime wise. However, its nature can be dangerous. Please just pay attention to warning signs at natural locations. 

There are not many don’ts in Iceland either. Just be aware that Icelanders tend to be very wary of strangers, so when approaching a local, remember that they are probably very confused as to why someone is coming to talk to them unprompted. 

Getting Around

As I mentioned at the beginning of the guide, getting a rental car is a must. It is fairly cheap compared to the rest of the prices in the country, and despite the confusing language, it is very easy to get around. 

Once in Reykjavik, the city is very walkable. Also, we were told the bus system is reliable, so count on that if you need to get somewhere farther in Reykjavik.

Flying to Reykjavik has gotten much easier, as many airlines use it as a refueling stop on the way to continental Europe. Most large cities on the East Coast will have a direct flight.

Key Language

Seemingly everyone in Iceland speaks perfect English. However, these are some key phrases to know simply to try and use the language and not be a typical American asshole. 

• Hello— Halló
• Good Morning— Góðan daginn
• Goodbye— Bless
• Thank You— Takk
• Do you speak English?— Talar þú ensku?

Once again, thank you for reading this guide. I hope it was informative and I hope that you enjoy Reykjavik and Iceland!

Follow Kyle Slaughter on Twitter @kyledslaughter or Instagram @kyledslaughter